Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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