accomplished twins. life is a go
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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