How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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