he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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