yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
