There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
