I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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