i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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