I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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