Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I want her autograph on my taint
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
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