Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I fill condoms, not promises.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
