And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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