Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
