Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
