remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I can't turn off my feet"
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
i believe in u and ur pee
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
