He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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