i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
