Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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