lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
