Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
