We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
