She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
