...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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