Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
