Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
