do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just cut my nipple shaving
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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