how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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