i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
