I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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