My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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