I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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