I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
She bit a glass in half.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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