You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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