Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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