the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
