people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
