another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
