White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
