Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
