i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
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