Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
