big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
