new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
