I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
how does that bad decision feel?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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