Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
