I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
