Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
