whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
