this beer tastes like vomit already
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
