I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
