Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
